A while ago, I’d read a pretty brilliant article on the sexual subtext of the classic Looney Toons cartoon “What’s Opera, Doc?”. It came up in conversation at work and, while I could have sworn I’d posted it here, I searched for it and no dice. Did I really not post this? Anyway, if I haven’t or if I had and you never read it, definitely do so. It’s pretty amazing. Or just click through and watch the cartoon cause it’s even better than you remember.

John and I were having this argument a few days back. If you had access to a time machine, TARDIS, George Carlin-enhanced phone booth, or some other geeky device that let you slip through space and time, you’d probably end up abusing it.

What historical figures would you go back and seduce? Assuming, of course, that the device also magically clears you of any scary infections.

Once again I am amazed by the artistic talent of others.

with a married man

“Critics of the vaccine say that the incidence of autism has greatly increased and that the vaccine is a primary cause of this increase.” This has gotten a lot of press lately. For those of you that have children or those that plan on one day having kids are you going to give your child the MMR vaccine? Its pretty scary when you start reading the articles that are against the vaccine. Clickable Text

Did you know she posed all sexy like? Non-nude-but-probably-a-bit-NSFW shite below the jump.

please tell stories of your trip

She comes home either on Tuesday or Wednesday depending on flight availability. Her visa came via courier this morning!

What. The fuck.

I am moving to London on April 4th at 6:55pm.

Not that you all care, but Im so happy I want to tell everyone.

Woo-hoo.

i just moved into john’s old place and i need furniture…if anyone has extra stuff they dont need im willing to take it off your hands or buy it or whatever

mainly i need a couch and some sort of armchair, but anything works

thanks!!! love matt

Now before Maggie gets her pants in a bundle…nah, let’s just see what happens. In Asia they did a gender test on a female athlete (which consists of a gynecologist, endocrinologist and psychologist doing their tests) and she FAILED. I wonder what the gynecologist saw.

The story is HERE.

Then your penis is probably smaller than even John’s. Apparently men in India are complaining about condoms being too big. This is evidenced by the frequent tearing or falling off of condoms. My favorite line from the article, “And normally one feels shy to go to a chemist’s shop and ask for a smaller size condom.”

The article is HERE

I wish they would get my spam.

thats all

I heart you

And by “This Shit” I mean this shit. It’s like… let’s lower the entire male/female relationship to the most base and stereotyped interactions and emotions, assume that everyone has them/does them, and write a column playing yourself as some kind of expert.

I wanted to email the author and make fun of her but I can’t find her email.

MARRIAGED!! They’ll be leaving for Arizona tomorrow to start their new life together.

All I want to know is why the hell everyone’s gotta move out west to get married.

hotness

I just asked out a girl for the first time in about 4 1/2 years, and now I have a date next weekend.

I’m fucking terrified.

I’ve never been on an actual date with somebody that wasn’t a girlfriend, which makes me wonder how I ever got into any relationships at all.

Anyway, like I said, I’m FUCKING TERRIFIED.

In addition to today being Pi Day, apparently it is the antithesis of Valentine’s Day—Steak and Blowjob Day (mostly SFW unless you can get yelled at for words [and you probably shouldn’t be here]).

Personally, I’d rather substitute the steak for indian food. but whatever. or maybe some maryland crabs.

What are some good porn sites?

So our very own Matthew Kuhlen and SaraJoy are getting married next week. Which totally rules. Patrick had the idea that perhaps we should all give them a card full of happy sentiments and signatures and stuff that he’ll bring with him to California, but I think we all know how lame cards and well-wishings are. So instead we’re gonna do it ON THE INTERNET (which is not at all lame).

Matt and Sara can’t see this post. Users who aren’t logged in can’t see this post. Just us. So go nuts. Write novels about how ugly and stupid they are. Make the Friar’s Club blush. And then maybe wish them some luck or something. When all is said and done, Pat’s gonna print it out and frame it so make sure this is extra long so he has to spend crazy amounts of money on an eleven foot high frame. Cause that would rule.

So seriously. Everyone. EVERYONE. Even if you’ve never met them. Give them something to read and laugh at on their wedding day. Cause that really would rule.

In my travels through my limited social circles I’ve been noticing an increasing frequency of the phrase, “I’d totally go gay for _ (male celebrity).” I have no problem with gays, bi’s, trannys, or any other sexual preference. What I don’t get is are these people being honest? I mean if you met Bruce Springsteen, Sean Lennon, Johnny Depp, or any other number of men that you claim you’d “go gay for” would you hit on them? Would you inch closer to them in a booth as the night wore on? Perhaps arrange to be alone in their limo with them? Or would you only take a shot in the mouth if they made the first move. Do you really think that these guys would be interested in sex with you? Or any man? Would you get excited if after telling a hilarious story from the Born to Run tour, the Boss, put his hand on your inner theigh and whipsered, “Hey, why don’t we get outta here and go somewhere more private?”

Its not so much that I mind the saying, it’s more that it’s played out. If you really mean it fine, but otherwise I think its a dumb thing to say. I would love to be with someone when they met their idol, so I could break the tension by letting the celebrity know that you openly wish to sleep with him. That would be priceless.

I’ve also noticed that girls don’t use this statement. If they do say something to the effect, they usually say hook up with or something like that. Not “go gay”. What does that even mean? If Ethan Hawke asked you to join him at a gay rights march you’d leave your girlfriend and put a rainbow sticker on your car?

Why do men say this? What is the point that they’re trying to convey?

I broke down and booked a room for all you swingin singles out there! We’re in the same hotel as the others at the Hampton Inn. If you are that big of a deadbeat that you still don’t have a place to be, this is the place to be. Bring your drugs, beer, champagne, loose men/women, and remember what happens in the singles room will never “stay in the singles room”. I have no doubt that this room will not even be used by one of us. Oh well, its a smoking room so we can always use it the next morning. In the words of the incomproble Jim Cramer, “Boo-yah”.

Okay the funniest thing ever just happened.

I was standing in my breakroom, getting some water – which required me to be bending over. My boss (who is a guy) walks up behind me and goes “That’s a goddamn nice butt you got there, Rachel!”

Or at least, that’s what I THOUGHT he said…

Hey I have off from work Friday and Monday. Anyone interested in attending a party Thursday or Friday night? Or is there already plans? Or is this too 2005?

I also have off the next Friday and Monday. Four day work weeks rule. Anyone want to take a daytrip?